Game Diary: Gish

In accordance with the wishes of those who wished never knowing what they were wishing for, we bring you game diary, a record of games played with some analysis and review thrown in at the bargain-basement price of only Free Freety-Free.

OR

In following Brendan’s own suggestion/promise/threat, I plan on talking about each of the games in the Humble Indie Bundle as I play them and, ideally, finish them.

[Finish him! –ed.]

Finish who?  I’m talking about a game, in this case, the game Gish.

[Finish him! –ed.]

Gish?  You’re talking about a ball of tar.  Granted, with eyes and a mouth, but a ball of tar nonetheless.

[Finish!  Him! –ed.]

And I suppose Gish is a he.  It has a girlfriend, after all.  Though Gish could be a lesbian.  Gish is sort of a girly name.

[Oh, for crying out loud.  FINISH IT! –ed.]

No.

[What? –ed.]

No, I’m not going to finish him, her, or it.  I am not going to finish Gish.

[But… but why not? –ed.]

I’m glad you asked.  Frankly, it has nothing to do with your pushiness, although I can’t say that helped.  The truth of the matter is, I just don’t find the game very fun.

[But it’s a 2D puzzler. It’s a platformer.  The levels are quick.  The art is colorful and fun. –ed.]

All of that is true, but all of that is beside the point.  Art can only go so far in terms of spurring me to play a game.  And, as some reviewers have said, the gameplay is repetitive, the art in the later levels only a slight variation on the previous ones.  And the game is just not fun, eventually—

[But lots of people love it!  It’s won awards! –ed.]

Yes, but what’s important to me is story and/or puzzling action.  The story here is so threadbare as to be nonexistent and the puzzles, well, as often as not I find myself flinging my way through a level not through quick wit or honed reflexes, but through brute force and speed.  Most levels take less than a minute to complete if you know what you’re doing.

[But you didn’t. –ed.]

But I didn’t, and I didn’t really care.  See, this game is simply not for me.  I never was one to thrill at a high difficulty level and try try try again at a point where my character died died died again.

And to be sure there’s some satisfaction in mastering an obstacle.  And I think I may have once treasured pride in being able to (eventually) effortlessly weave my way through a game.

But that’s pretty much all Gish has to offer, that mastering.  There’s not enough new in every level to keep me interested, and because there’s no riveting story or promise of the new to keep me going, instead I grow bored and, when I die enough, and a continue sends me back to the first level of the third world, that boredom turns into annoyance and, as I declare here, it’s not worth it.

The game’s not worth it.  For me.

Andrew Rating: 2 out of 5 slaps to the face

gish-screenshot1

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3 Responses to Game Diary: Gish

  1. françois says:

    Story? Can we then expect a review of Prince of Persia or Assassin’s Creed 2 from you soon?

  2. Andrew says:

    Of course! As soon as I buy the games and play them. Until then, you’ll have to deal with games like Majesty 2 and Bioshock 2.

  3. Brendan says:

    Of course, you’ve gotten around to actually playing them, whereas they languish on my hard drive, unplayed, unloved. Dammit.

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