Namely, this one, that I’m postdating this essay to. Yes, oh yes, I posted this essay yesterday, didn’t you notice? I mean, I posted it today. Today!
Don’t you argue with me!
Do you want to know what I’ve been doing all day? Preparing for you.
Preparing for what you may ask? And you may. Ask, that is.
Don’t be shy. You know I’m talking about “Tuned to a Dead Channel”, that play that’s sweeping the nation and being paid minimum wage to do it. Be the first on your block to own a ticket to “Tuned to a Dead Channel”, penned by that famous unknown, Meister Doctor Andrew Kozma! Believe you me, it’ll be worth tens come twenty years from now.
Okay, enough kidding around. (I’m not really kidding.) What I did today was create sounds for the play. Yes, me, the writer, was creating “sounds” for the play. As we all know, the only sounds a writer should be making are the clacking of keys. So, audience o’ mine, now you know what to expect come curtain a calling.
I don’t have a good track record being a member of the technical theater brotherhood-and-sisterhood-live-in-harmony hood. My first job after graduating college was as a technical theater guy in some plays that my friend (and Equity stage manager extraordinaire Heather) was stage managing. And, yes, she is the reason I got those jobs. And, boy, was she disappointed.
Besides my total ineptness at being a prop procurer, I also was inattentive as a sound technician. At the time, all my job involved was pressing a button so that the next cue would play right on cue. Queue? Quebecois?
Regardless, I messed up. Sound played when no sound should be playing. Now, lights, you can sort of get away with. Aha! A dramatic shift in lighting! How unexpected, and symbolic!
But sounds, especially if they are recordings of people talking, or music, or anything, really, that comes through the speakers as opposed to an actor’s mouth, sounds can be a bit distracting. And that’s how I distracted – cue unqueued played on Q.
Which is why we have decided to go with no sound for “Tuned to a Dead Channel”. Really, I think it’s best. And who cares? Who do? You do.