On Peddling Kittens

It’s a living.

You find yourself a kitten farm in dire straits, you pick it up on the cheap, and there you have it: Your New Living.

Alternately: Your New Life.

Alternately: You Have No Life.  Not Anymore.  Not Ever Again.

Sure, everyone thinks kitten farming is the path to easy riches.  And why not?  Everyone loves kittens.  Kittens are the epitome of cuteness (more so than babies, even.  Don’t try to deny it!).  Kittens are small, easily transportable, and at an early age are able to clean themselves and go to the bathroom on their own.  Who could ask for a better toy?

Of course, the naysayers say, adorable kittens grow up to be cute and loving cats.

And I say, What’s the problem here?  If you don’t like your cat, you can always trade it in for a new model.  I mean, how else would kitten farms be able to fully support themselves, right?

Sadly, our culture doesn’t support the trade-in of pets.  Cars, sure, all you want, but pets?  No.

This makes the life of the kitten farmer dire indeed.

Due to an unfortunate cutback in government subsidies, kitten farms are closing all over the nation.  This industry that was once a founding pillar of America’s economy has fallen on hard times due to overseas competition and a lack of oversight for said competition.

All of which means what, you might ask.

So ask.

[All of which means what? –ed.]

What?

[I asked. –ed.]

That kitten farmers are now relegated – no, forced! – to peddle kittens on street corners like common thugs and washing machine salesmen.  Because of these dire circumstances – conditions which kitten farmers have had no control over, I might add – the checks and balances that went into selling kittens to reputable persons and businesses and for controlling the health of the kittens themselves, have been severely degraded.

Think of us poor kitten farmers, our livelihood swiftly vanishing, the lifestyles we inherited and propagated evaporating into the annals of history.  But don’t only think of us.

Think, gentle people, think of the kittens.  Do you want this to happen to them?

The Final Solution

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