The last few nights Andrew has had a fever.
Let’s back up a step. I am not Andrew referring to himself in third person.
That said, as Andrew has been sick and semi-delerious he’s played every pity card in his deck to get me to write his blog for him. He even went so far as threatening to end his Year of Living Bloggily experiment months early.
Audience: Boooo! Hissssss!
I know, Audience. And I couldn’t agree more. But in moments like these, a good girlfriend should be supportive, encouraging and understanding. I managed to muster enough pluck to say something to the effect of “What would Ze Frank do?” The answer is obvious, at least to me. Ze Frank, the creator of the year-long, highly creative, entertaining, thoughtful, hilarious and often moving video blog The Show with Ze Frank would not give up due to travel or sickness, and he most certainly would not pressure his girlfriend into doing his work for him.
That said, I’m Andrew’s girlfriend, and I’m writing this “guest blog” today.
I’ve chosen as my topic a hobby of sorts close to my heart, Andrew’s heart, and hopefully your heart(s) as well, because, if it’s not, your heart is clearly not in the right place. Or at least it’s inconveniently placed, maybe somewhere near your toes, and even if it does keep your feet warm, you really should get that checked out.
That said, welcome to the Bad Movie Night Revue 2010!
It’s a relief to meet others whose lives are so inexplicably enhanced by the mere existence of this ubiquitous cinematic effluvia. For example, I recently discovered the bad movie night podcast . Listening to these two IT guys excitedly banter about the insanity of Boxer’s Omen (totally on the Netflix now), I understood, perhaps for the first time, exactly how Andrew and I must sound when we try to explain our favorite bad movies to our friends. Which brings us to our first act:
Insanity Loves Company
Bad movies are always better when you make your friends suffer with you. Case in point, the cast party for Tuned to a Dead Channel this summer was really just a front for forcing six perfectly decent people to watch Tommy Wiseau’s The Room. To boot, we hardly ever stop at one. If you ever have the misfortune to be invited to our house for dinner, rest assured that as your head is still spinning from the first Bad Movie trip, while you are dazed and helpless, Andrew is starting up Troll 2 or something of its ilk, and before you can make your excuses and escape, you’re sucked into yet another black hole of Bad. On the bright side, we’ll serve biscuits. Our next act:
Share the Bad Movie Love
If you’re one of those special people who truly does love Bad Movies, who delights in all the many layers of Bad, a connisuer of the not-so-subtle variations of Badness, then share your love. (If you’re not, then you should quietly exit the theater and hunker down because we just might start cooking some biscuits soon. Go! Before it’s too late). I’ve taken to tweeting awards for the Bad Movies we watch, inspired by The Golden Turkey Awards. A few we’ve come up with:
Best backwards ass villainous revenge plot in a low budget movie: Sherlock Holmes. Step one is a gold stealing animatronic Kraken? Really?(Clearly not the Robert Downey, Jr. version here.)
Worst overuse of Cory Feldman twitching in a movie: Puppet Master vs Demonic Toys. Nothing against Cory, though. <3
Best team cheerleader in a horror movie: Joshua in Troll 2. “Concentrate MORE!”
Best use of a booklight in a movie: Guardians. Apparently these can detect occult micro-organisms, too!
Bad Movies as Healing Art
Yes, I do believe there is an argument to be made for Bad Movies being like a sweet, cool balm to your sickly, feverish mind and/or body. Can you think of anything better to do as you convalesce? Because it’s Bad, you don’t really have to pay attention and can save your powers of concentration for breaking open the seal on your NyQuil. If it’s at all Bad in that Good way, then you might crack up at it’s Badness, and the healing power of laughter is well documented, not to mention it’s an effective expectorant.
This guy: totally healthy.
That said, Andrew’s prescription is clear, and he should be back and better than ever in no time. I mean, how could he not be after this?:
Guest Blogger: Megan Goode. Much Bad Movie Love to all of y’all. @megoode on Twitter if anyone cares to follow.