On a Post Also Written by Someone Who Is Totally Not Me

Ponies and flowers.

Hybrids

I like ponies and flowers.  Preferably together.  Ponies running through flowers.  Ponies eating flowers.  Flowers eating ponies.  Through decomposition.  Which is a perfectly natural phenomenon and nothing to be ashamed of or horrified by.

I like ponies because they are harmless.  Yes, they have hooves, but they would never use them.  Their teeth are flat and soft.  Their coats are bramble-free.  If you are cold, they offer their coats to you.

I like flowers because they are pretty.  Also, because they are silent.  Also, because they have sex without touching and through third-party providers like bees and butterflies.  Sex is a perfectly natural phenomenon, and nothing to be ashamed of or horrified by.

Flowers are made of metal and are dangerous to pick on your own.  This is what my mom told me and why she wears gloves when gardening.  We pay gardeners money because they risk their lives every time they enter a field of flowers.  Many gardeners never return and their children are sad, even though the money they are paid for their loss allows them to live comfortably for the rest of their lives.

My father is not a gardener.

I am not allowed to have either a pony or a flower.

I believe that the best thing in the world would be a pony-flower.

It would be colorful like a flower and surrounded by bees.  When it rested for the night, it would plant its hooves in the ground.  The pony-flower is made of metal so its teeth are no longer soft.  It has sex without touching and through using third-party providers.  If I had a pony-flower, I would never ask my parents for anything ever again.  I would live in a field of pony-flowers.

It would be a perfectly natural phenomenon, and nothing to be ashamed of or horrified by.

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One Response to On a Post Also Written by Someone Who Is Totally Not Me

  1. Best post on the internet!

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