B: Today I’d like to talk about how dialogue often runs away with you. As with many creative endeavors, you may find… (Beat.) Aren’t you going to interrupt?
A: Should I? If I may say so, I was rather interested.
B: But you – or someone or something – always interrupts.
B: I don’t know!
A: There’s no reason to get excited.
B: I’m not excited. I’m angry!
A: No reason to get that, either.
B: You’re right. I’m sorry. (Beat.) I’m calm now.
A: Do you want me to interrupt you?
A: I can, you know. Interrupt you. If you want me to.
B: Why would I want that?
A: You just seemed so excited. And even though you said you didn’t want to be interrupted… The lady doth protest too much and all that.
B: I’m not a lady.
A: Are you sure?
B: Excuse me?
A: Maybe that’s why you got so excited so suddenly. Hormones and all. I hear they’re nigh uncontrollable.
B: I think it’s pretty obvious I’m a man.
A: They do wonderful things with disguises these days.
A: And make-up. But I guess you’d know all about that.
B: I told you, I’m not a woman!
A: There you go, getting excited again.
B: Look, could we please just get back to the subject at hand.
A: And what’s that?
B: Dialogue! Let’s talk about dialogue.
A: Whatever you want, baby. I’d have a dialogue with you in a hot minute.
(Scream of frustration. Footsteps. Door opening and closing.)
A: I’ll take that as a yes, then.
(Footsteps. Door opening and closing.)